Abrupt Death After Fog and Why It Needs to be Studied
The year following the death of our daughter I experienced profound changes in my brain. Primarily, I remembered very little of the first six-months following her death which could of course be checked off as the brain managing stress. But the six months following that my memory failed to improve and in fact, I realized much to my horror, many of my long-term memory was being negatively impacted as well. I could not remember some long-term well-established memories. I coined this disturbing phenomena , Abrupt Death After Fog, because that is exactly what it is - a fog in my brain that literally blocked making new memories and blotted out old memories - and which occurred directly following the abrupt and unexpected death of our 11-year old daughter.
I have always been a detail-oriented person and losing touch with such facts in and of itself is quite distressing, so I set out to see what research and help was out there for people like me. Sadly, other than a few savant articles which primarily dealt with freakish accidents and blows to the head, there was little out there, and any mention of memory issues related to traumatic death were merely accounted for as short-term events, used by the brain to manage acute stress, but which was expected to return to normal after a short time.
Why It Needs to be Studied
As I put it out there that I have suffered in the past and am still suffering from memory issues following our daughter's death, I found more and more people saying that they too have suffered in silence the same way. I therefore wonder if this form of brain damage is permanent and trackable; I want to know why some people experience short-term symptoms but then recover from it while others like me do not. I want to know if it is generally more gender specific and/or possibly age-related. Does it spur on depression or possibly prevent people from finding their new normal as quickly as others? Is there a way to regain what I have lost - because I know all the brain games and crossword puzzles in the world have not helped me!
Six years has now transpired since Kelli died but I am still having the same memories issues and now when I mention it doctors say I should expect that it probably will not come back or I get the ageless thing that doctors often tell women when they have no idea what is going on - it may be hormonal. I'm here to tell you, this is not hormonal, and to even entertain that notion as the sole cause is nothing short of insulting. To have something you used to automatically enjoy just outside of your reach, never to be grasped again, is nothing short of seriously frustrating!
And I know from speaking with other mothers who have lost children, that Abrupt Death After Fog is a real and distinct change to the working brain which warrants real research and I would hope someday possible intervention.
So I am embarking on my own research study and hope to collect as much information as I can about those people affected, such as the age and gender, specific memory issues impacted, trackable (or noticeable) improvement or not, time frames, etc., in the hopes that maybe someday doctors will come to realize that Abrupt Death After Fog is a real ailment of the brain after a traumatic loss of a loved one.
If you or someone you know has suffered a traumatic death of a loved one and the words "memory issues" or "feeling foggy or fuzzy in the brain" are continually mentioned, I would like to hear from you. I would appreciate hearing your story and how you think the acute stress of traumatic death has affected your memory. All personal information is confidential and never shared. Please contact me via email at ursula@CompassReset.com; phone at 602-400-4423 or private message me through Facebook.