You Win You Lose


Winning is easy. Well for most people it is; though sometimes fear of success prevents some from actually succeeding.

As for me, I have learned my best lessons in life were from failure. One learns nothing when you are winning. Not so when you are losing. When you are losing you are in the middle of a struggle and when you are struggling you are also learning how to get back up on your feet. You become a fighter, learning how to overcome whatever feat is causing the angst.

In a world created by a parental need to make sure our kids have a life better than the one we experienced, we ourselves lost the very important ability to teach our kids how to fight. The loss of the skill to fight in order to rise above something troubling has created a society of incredibly entitled individuals.

If you go through life getting participation awards, where in the world does one learn the complete and absolutely devastating feelings that go along with utter and complete failure?

What, you may ask, could be the up side of feeling this terrible? Well, it gives perspective. How else can you know the exhilaration of winning - for something you have worked so hard for - if you haven't experienced the exact opposite feeling? And, that my friends, is something that you can not learn unless you have truly experienced failure. There is no other way to proffer the same end result.

So parents of today, know that by being born in this time and place your kids already have more than enough, and in obligation to the quest of giving them more than what you had, let them fail! Then you can parent them through all the emotions and questions that come along with failure. Parenting is hard. But there is nothing better than seeing your children WIN because they worked hard and deserved it. Much better than seeing the vacant win of just being present.

Ursula Neal

Ursula is a grief coach for mothers who have lost children helping them to move from crappy to happy again. She is also a personal growth strategist helping individuals reach their goals. She may be reached at 602-400-4423 or Facebook Google+

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